The Inspired Blog

“You’re on You Own, Kid…”

The transition from “childhood” to “adulthood” can be confusing, and young adults can notice a big impact on their mental health. There can be a new sense of responsibilities and expectations, from ourselves or others. Except there is no class in school that teaches you how to “adult”. I bet you’ve heard more than once that you’re an adult now and need to get it figured out, but there is less willingness in the world to support you while you do that. That hardly seems fair or like a set up for success. No one expected you to learn to walk, talk, read, or write on your own. Yet, somehow when young adults could benefit from therapy, it is seen as a failure of some sort.

The phase of life that we refer to as “young adulthood” usually spans the ages 18-25. Though some would make the case that even up to age 30 should be included in that group. Think about all of the huge milestones that can happen in those years! Leaving high school, starting school either in your hometown or out of state. Maybe it’s college, but it can also be trade school learning the skills that keep this country running. A lot of young adults also experience living on their own, or without family, for the first time. Learning how to pay bills, grocery shop, set up all of your own appointments and completing all your own paperwork. Your choices are your own for the first time, and so are the results of those choices.

Next comes getting into the professional world which can be daunting and discouraging. Getting into and out of serious relationships, having children, and getting married can all be significant life events during this time in life. The current state of our world looks a lot different than the world your parents and grandparents grew up in and there is a growing sense of just how hard things are for most people. While lot of this part of life can be exciting and “the best of years of your life”, with this level of change it is not at all unusual for people to find themselves feeling overwhelmed, scared, lost and generally in need of support.

How do I know if I need more support?

It’s easy to find ourselves doing what we’ve always done and assuming that’s fine, until it’s not. Often when we look back on situations or periods of our life that were difficult, we can see early red flags waving at us hoping we’ll notice them and do something differently. Hindsight is a real asshole sometimes, isn’t it? Most of us don’t recognize them for what they are because we simply don’t know that they are warning signs at all.

10 common signs that you may be struggling more than you realized:

• You struggle to make decisions, even about small things and may end up doing nothing instead of making a decision either way. You are procrastinating on things more and more, even when that causes more stress or negative outcomes.
• You aren’t sleep well, or want to sleep a lot more.
• You are having a hard time managing your feelings, it feels more like they are managing you.
• You are not meeting your own expectations for yourself in terms of school or work performance.
• Substances have become a frequent way to deal with stress and something inside you is starting to ask questions about how much is too much.
• Finding motivation to do things is harder, even things you generally enjoy.
• You are feeling disconnected or sad, and might not know why.
• You feel overwhelmed by the experience of being an adult in a world that expects you to already know how to do all the things.
• You thought you knew who you were and what you wanted to “do with your life”. Except now you aren’t so sure and it feels like too much to sort through on your own.
• The people who know you best and love you are starting to ask questions or express concern.

Ugh, that’s me. Now what?

First thing to know is that you are hardly alone in any of these experiences. Like most things in our culture, we don’t talk about it so people are caught off guard when they start to realize something isn’t quite right. It takes a lot of courage to be honest when we’re struggling, especially if we don’t have a good support system already around us. I’m sure you’re expecting me to recommend therapy, and you aren’t wrong. It’s kinda my thing. But, I also don’t believe that everyone needs therapy for every struggle and I certainly don’t believe that therapy is the only support that people need. In fact, the more supports outside of therapy that you have, the better results you are likely to see!

Ways to bring more support into your life:

• Move your body. I don’t even care how you do it. Just move it. I know that sounds so basic and you’ve heard it before. But there is a reason we keep saying it! Regular physical movement has been proven over and over again to help reduce stress, improve mood, improve sleep, and a lot of other benefits.
• Go outside. I know I probably sound like your parent right now- “it’s a beautiful day, go outside!” Once again, lots of well documented benefits to fresh air, sunlight, being near water, getting your hands or feet in the dirt and grass.
• Limit your exposure to media. There are only so many IG reels and filters you can consume before you start to feel like shit. Plain and simple. Tik Tok can make me laugh until I cry, but it can also really mess with my energy.
• If you have a faith practice or community that you find helpful, lean into that.
• Spend time with people who genuinely make you feel good.
• Give more time to, or find, an activity that you like. You don’t need to be good at it. You don’t need to try to turn it into a “side hustle”. Just do the puzzle, or read the book, or whatever else you truly like doing.
• Learn about something new. A new topic or a new skill/activity. Create something.

All of these can be so helpful! You may still feel like you need more support in addition to these things. This is what I do! I truly enjoy working with young adults to address their mental health needs and to provide support as they navigate this new part of life. We will work together to find your personal values and goals for your life and to find ways to get you there. I am very aware that living in America today is actually pretty difficult, especially for young adults just starting out in the adult space. Let’s work together to build you the toolkit you need to feel more in control, more connected, and with more clarity in your life and where you’re headed. Reach out now at laura@inspiredmentalwellness.com for a free 15 minute consultation!