It’s my most favorite time of the year! It’s also a really stressful time of the year, even in the best of circumstances. We can all agree that infertility during the holidays is never going to be the best of circumstances. Going into this season while trying to cope with infertility or fertility treatments can feel like a punch to the gut. My hope with this blog is that you feel seen and heard, and feel a bit more prepared to get through the next month.
This time of year is full of holiday celebrations all over the world and in many different cultures. The month of December holds Christmas, Hanukkah, Yule, Kwanza, and some years Eid or Ramadan will fall during the month as well. While these different celebrations vary, the one thing they all have in common is a strong emphasis on family, togetherness, and socializing. Even if you are someone who normally really enjoys all that social interaction, it can be much harder when you are struggling so deeply with the heartbreak of infertility.
Many times, there has been a dream of this holiday season being the first with a new baby to make memories with. As the reality sets in that this isn’t going to be the year for that, a sense of dread creeps in. You may be seeing family or friends who are pregnant or have a new baby they are excited to introduce to everyone. Aunt Bev will be there and she’s going to ask when you’re having kids, again. Someone is going to announce a pregnancy on social media or at dinner. The hole in your chest will feel so big and raw, it can be enough to make you not want to participate in any of it.
Even with all of that, I want to remind you that you still deserve a holiday season that you can find ways to enjoy. This is a good time to spend a moment digging deep into what you’re feeling and what is triggering those feelings. This gives you good information to help plan ahead and know how you need to be supported. Having this understanding gives you more control over some of the situations and interactions you may find yourself faced with.
These are some ways to help you identify potential triggers and ideas for dealing with them as they come up.
See what I did there? Pun intended! In all seriousness- I hope you have found something in this blog that connected for you. There is so much excitement around the holidays but that also can come with a lot of stress and pressure. Infertility during the holidays feels especially raw and cruel. Taking care of yourself has to be a priority, not only to survive the month of December, but hopefully find some fun and joy too!
I specialize in working with people who are struggling with infertility or are using fertility treatments to build their family. If you are finding it harder and harder to manage your feelings about infertility, therapy can give you a place to sort through it all. You will also learn ways to cope with the various stressors that are part of that journey. This will mean you feel better and more in control. Reach out to schedule a free 15 minute consultation. You can also read more about my work with infertility counseling on my webpage.